Solace
by nytecat
Summary: After the battle of the Citadel, Liara and Shepard sort out their feelings for each other on a trip to Earth. Female Shepard, Vanguard, Ruthless, Earthborn.


**SOLACE**

_Author's Note: This story takes place after ME 1 and before the events of ME 2. It was a half-finished piece I wrote months ago and decided to complete it today. Shepard – Female, Vanguard, Ruthless and Earthborn._

She was a stranger on a strange world. Desert dunes, pale silver mounds under the light of a star-speckled sky, seemed to be swallowed by the impenetrable darkness beyond the horizon.

Liara sat in the great shadow of an ancient colossal stone structure that rose up from the ghostly white sand and seemed to pierce the sky. So, this was Egypt and she sat in the shadow of the Great Pyramid of Giza. The very fact that she was at the site of one of Earth's oldest civilizations made the archaeologist in her tremble with excitement. She harboured a hope that by being on Earth, she could unlock the enigmatic puzzle that was the human mind.

And, there was one human mind that she was invested in unlocking above all others: Shepard's.

It had been Shepard's idea to visit the pyramids on Earth. After the Citadel battle, there had seemed to be a never-ending succession of official celebration dinners to attend. The Normandy had been hailed as the savior of the Council and the Alliance had not wasted any time in making Shepard into an intergalactic cultural icon; a symbol of humanity at its finest.

The commander had never said anything negative about her newfound legendary status in public or even in privacy of their bedchamber. Yet, as Liara spent more time with her lover, she learnt that the human spoke volumes in her silence. The way that the human would stare into the distance and brooded told Liara that Shepard chafed restlessly at the propaganda and pomp.

It was not surprising. Sovereign's attack had shown them how inferior their technology was against the Reapers. If it was up to Shepard, she would be harrying across the Terminus Systems exterminating the last vestiges of geth. But Shepard was a good soldier and followed her orders. If the Alliance wanted her to smile and shake hands, she did that with an uncanny charm.

That is until one night Shepard had had enough. The commander had taken Liara aside during one of the official dinners and asked if she would like to visit the human homeworld. When Liara agreed, the commander had spirited her and the rest of the crew away from the function and chartered a course straight for the third planet in the Sol System.

In preparation for her trip, Liara delved into Earth records, scouring the extranet about its history and culture. She watched the vids, read the books and listened to its music. Humanity was so diverse, so multi-faceted. Despite all the hours she had put into her research, Liara had only peeled back a few layers of the human mind and soul.

Mentoring her on the finer points of the human psyche was Dr Chakwas. The doctor had told her that Earth-born humans were a different breed from the spacers and colonists. Life on Earth was hard and unforgiving and it bred hardy humans. Shepard, Joker and Kaidan were prime specimens of Earth-born resilience.

The revelation gave Liara a deeper respect for the adversaries that Shepard had overcome. It also gave her new insight into the human's steely determination to conquer any challenge.

Dr Chakwas had also been teaching her English. It was more beneficial than simply learning from a VI as the doctor possessed a wicked sense of humour which had Liara at a loss for words sometimes. She often looked forward to their 'secret' lessons. One day, when she could dredge up the courage, she would speak to Shepard in her native tongue. One day, in the future.

At the thought of Shepard, Liara broke out of her reverie. She realized that she had been reminiscing for a long while now. She should head back to camp before the others became worried. She rose lithely and dusted herself off. The asari trudged through the soft, slipping sand, digging deep with every step. By the time the camp loomed into view on the horizon, the asari was covered in a light sheen of sweat.

Three small white tents stood like silent sentinels against the blackness of the night, forming a semicircle around a blazing fire. Seated around the crackling flames on stools were four humans dressed in light clothing. One human looked up at Liara's approach as she upending the sand from one of her boots. Sand was a problem. It got into everything. Liara was thankful that it did not get into the food that they ate.

Red-haired and lean in a white-gold trimmed body suit, Commander Shepard at the moment did not look like the legendary calm and composed hero of the Alliance. Her violet-blue eyes were narrowed in frustration and the glare she cast at her boot made it seem like she was about to bludgeon the ground with it. She set the boot aside, dusted off her sand-powdered foot and put on her boot again. She did the latches up quickly, halting for a moment when Liara took a seat on the stool beside her.

"Welcome back, Liara," the human said softly, a trace of warmth in her voice. The warmth deepened and a mischievous sparkle appeared in her violet-blue eyes. "I was just about to send out a search party after you."

Liara liked how the commander said her name. Her human accent gave it an exotic inflection that no asari would have. Although this wasn't limited to just Shepard. All humans said her name in that same foreign way. But when Shepard said it, her name sounded sweet and special.

Kaidan, who was seated on the other side of the commander, chuckled wryly, his lips quirked in a near smile. He was softly strumming an Earth musical instrument called a guitar. Whatever he was playing, it sounded melancholic and gave her the impression of rain. His eyes were closed and there was a small sad smile on his lips. From the way the other humans glanced covertly at him and the tightening in their eyes, Liara could tell that the music affected them too.

Next to Kaidan, Jeff 'Joker' Moreau was roasting something called 'marshmallows' on a stick in the fire. Liara had tried the fluffy confectionery – untoasted – earlier in the day and found it to be too sweet for her tastes. He took the marshmallows off the fire, blew out the flames and gingerly took a bite.

Joker's response to Shepard's humour was to roll his eyes in an exaggerated manner. "Lame, Commander. That was really lame," he muttered quietly around a mouthful of molten candy.

As quiet as his voice was, Shepard's sharp ears still caught his comment. Her eyes flickered to him with a flash of anger that was quickly replaced by amusement.

"What was that, Flight Lieutenant? Oh, you would like to walk back to the shuttle port tomorrow? Why, of course, you can," she replied.

Joker winced but his lips twitched into a near smile. The pilot's crutches were laid on the sand next to his stool – cold metal reminders of his debilitating Vrolik condition. Watching him make his way gingerly around the Normandy also put a lump in Liara's throat, although she had come to admire the man's tenacity and understand why the pilot – in human terms – had the 'need for speed'. The man had wooted throughout entire the ride across the desert, especially at the wild, reckless speeds that Shepard drove. They had left the hotel before dawn and had raced the sun to the pyramid.

"No, ma'am," the pilot replied. He forced a solemn expression onto his face, though his lips twitched again with the urge to smile. "Sorry for implying that you have a sense of humour like a VI, ma'am. I didn't mean to insult the VI, ma'am."

The look of indignation on Shepard's face was priceless.

Kaidan burst out laughing and even the guide sitting next to Joker chuckled. The man was lean, small with dark hair and a dusky complexion. He returned to his perusing his datapad and seemed to ignore the group's banter.

"Ouch. That was a kill shot." Shepard grinned with rueful shake of her head. "I should know better than to tangle with you, Moreau."

The air of levity felt good, revitalizing, after the constant solemnity aboard the Normandy. They had little cause to smile or laugh since the destruction of the Citadel. Watching the three Alliance officers trade banter, Liara felt invited into the circle of their friendship and yet at the same time, estranged from them. Before she had join the mission against Saren and the Reapers, Liara had spent little time amongst humans. As such, she still found them fascinating, foreign and so very alien.

Although Liara appreciated the companionship of Joker and Kaidan, she had been expecting a romantic rendezvous with only her and Shepard. It was a cold shock that the commander had invited her crewmates along for the trip.

Not that she did minded Kaidan and Joker. She liked them both although being around Kaidan was awkward. She always kept a watchful eye out for signs of jealousy or resentment to flare up. They never did. The asari thought that perhaps the soldier was too consumed by his guilt over Ashley's death to delve into the matter. What she did not realize that Kaidan was being a gentleman and respected Shepard's decision.

The asari listened closely to their jokes and think she could understand the humour. When there was a lull in the conversation, Shepard glanced at her. Liara smiled back reassuringly but her lover frowned then stood. She beckoned for the asari to follow her. Liara complied.

Shepard led them away from the camp fire and skirted the trunks which Kaidan had unloaded in the morning. Survey equipment he had told her. She had seen little of him doing any actual surveying. Then again, she had spent the whole day in the tombs with the guide and the commander. To her surprise, Shepard had been as curious about the ruins as Liara was. She had caught the human thoughtfully tracing the faded hieroglyphics.

They walked in silence until they were some distance from the camp. Every so often, she caught Shepard looking at the horizon. It made her think that maybe Shepard was waiting and wishing for the moment they could leave.

Suddenly, Shepard turned to face her. "You've been quiet tonight. Is something wrong, Liara?" Liara was touched by the naked concern on her lover's face.

She thought about the feeling of isolation she felt. She wanted to show how much she appreciated the effort that Shepard had went to. The asari knew it could not have been easy for the commander to derelict her duty like this.

Liara clasped her forearms in front of her. She felt self-conscious, there was a knot in her throat but she managed to utter the words.

"I'm fine. Just had a lot on my mind. Sorry to have worried you," she said finally.

Shepard frowned at Liara so hard that it made the alien feel panicked. She quietly wondered if she should repeat herself. Did she mispronounce the words? She watched the realisation dawn on Shepard. Liara had spoken in English, not machine-translated. Her lips had moved in sync with the familiar words she had uttered.

Slowly, Shepard's wide eyes narrowed and she grinned as she stepped closer to the asari.

"Say something else," the human commanded softly.

Liara took a step backwards, her heart thundering in her chest. "What do you want me to say?" she asked in English. Her voice was a few octaves higher than normal. Despite her nervousness, she could tell that she spoke English with a heavy accent and hated it.

However, to Shepard, Liara had an exotic accent. Her words rolled and dropped and rose in pitch at strange places. It sounded lilting and when combined with the asari's cultured way of speaking, it filled her ears with a harmonious sound, akin to listening to an orchestra.

The commander still had not answered so Liara repeated her question. Instead of answering, the commander advanced on her until their bodies touched. There was now a playful light in her eyes. Without a word, she bent her head. Their lips touched and melded.

"Anything," Shepard breathed as the sensuous kiss ended; her voice husky and raw.

Without waiting for a response, Shepard's mouth trailed down the side of Liara's neck. Her kisses left warm spots of pleasure that left the asari trembling slightly in the cold desert air. Liara's eyelids fluttered closed. "Ah!" Coherent thought scattered as Shepard teased small gasps and moans from the asari. She raised her hands to cup the back of her lover's head and back. A spike of excitement caused her fingers to tighten, tangle in Shepard's hair.

Abruptly, Shepard pulled away. Her hand reached up to her ear where her comlink was located. From Liara's experience, the device often vibrated to signal an oncoming communication.

It was Joker. "Commander. Come in, Commander Shepard." The man sounded calm despite his urgent tone.

A look of worry flashed across Shepard's face. She frowned.

"What is it, Joker?" the commander asked in a slightly raspy voice. The fire in her eyes was gone, replaced by an impenetrable coldness.

"Hostiles inbound. Two transports."

Shepard nodded at Liara and the two began to race back to camp. "We're coming. Sit tight," the commander reassured the pilot.

"Great plan, Commander," Joker replied wryly.

Liara saw the commander's lips move, mouthing "smart ass". Despite the dire situation, Shepard and her crew still found time to make quips. It was an odd battle ritual of theirs, adopted by the alien crew. When asked why they did it, Shepard replied that it kept their minds sharp.

However, it seemed that the commander was not in the mood for jokes. "Cut the chatter and start firing, mister!" Shepard rebuked the pilot.

In answer, a submachine chattered over the comlink. Shepard increased her running speed as if spurred on by the sound. Liara managed to keep pace.

The sounds of a fierce firefight reached them as they clambered up a dune near to the camp. From their vantage point, they could see the battle clearly. Kaidan and Joker had taken shelter behind the transport they used to drive to the pyramid. The pilot was laying down suppressive fire while Kaidan used his biotics and weapon to whittle down the numbers of the oncoming enemies.

The raiders were moving in a three-prong pincer movement. The left and right prongs were moving in to crush the Alliance soldiers from the flanks. There was not much time left.

Dodging enemy fire, Liara and Shepard split up when they reached the transport, taking up positions on either end of the transport, allowing for Joker and Kaidan to concentrate their attacks on the middle phalanx.

Kaidan tossed them their weapons, Shepard a submachine gun and Liara a heavy pistol. They started mowing down the flanking enemy.

Joker spared Liara a glance as she crouched down next to him. "Yay, the cavalry's here."

"Yes, just in time to save the day!" Liara snarled in asari as she sent a shockwave plummeting through the enemy ranks. Mangled bodies flew up into the air.

Kaidan laughed as he ducked back behind the transport, waiting for his rifle to cool down. "Good one, T'soni!" he smirked.

The asari smiled with a touch of satisfaction. She seemed to have gotten a handle on the Normandy's crew battle banter.

Meanwhile, Shepard peered around the vehicle's hood and counted the number of enemies. "Hail, hail, the gang's all here," she said softly. She loaded a round into her chamber and took a deep breath. "Alright… let's light up the night!" the commander growled as she returned fire.

Screams and hoarse cries mingled in with the volley of bullets and boom of grenades. Moments bled into minutes. Time had ceased to exist as Liara went through the motions of firing, using her biotics, ducking behind cover and repeating the process. Her breath burned in her lungs, her muscles spasmed with exertion. There seemed to be no end to the waves of enemies.

The firefight ended abruptly with the last attacking raider going down from a headshot by Joker. Kaidan, Shepard and Liara moved in to corral the remaining raiders who tossed down their weapons and surrendered.

"Smart move," Shepard told the prisoners as Kaidan collected the weapons and put the prisoners in restraints while Liara kept hers trained on the group. "I'm sure some of you have families that you want to live for."

Once the prisoners were loaded into one of their requisitioned transport, Shepard turned to Kaidan. She cast the encampment an inscrutable glance. The camp fire had burnt out, leaving the camp to be illuminated by pale moonlight.

"Where's the guide?" the commander asked softly.

Kaidan shook his head, his eyes flashed angrily. "Neutralized. I caught him calling in our position. They wanted to capture us. Well, not us." He paused then added, "We were expendable. They wanted you, Shepard. The hero of Alliance."

For a moment, Shepard's face seemed carved from stone. There was a storm raging in her eyes. "So, our intel was wrong? These were not the human slave traffickers that Admiral Hackett sent us to eliminate?" she asked, scrubbing a hand through her hair wearily.

In answer, Kaidan shook his head grimly. Finally, she nodded. Her lips pressed into a thin line. A fire burnt in her eyes. "Radio Admiral Hackett and update him on the situation."

During the exchange, Liara realized something. She turned on Shepard in cold anger. "This was not a vacation for us! It was a mission!" she said in asari. Despite her fury, she spoke calmly.

Shepard met her furious gaze levelly. "Yes, it was," she answered simply. There was not even one hint of shame in her eyes.

It is always your mission first then other things, Liara thought sadly. Where do I prioritize in your life, Shepard? Aloud, she said: "I could understand why you brought Kaidan on this mission but why did you bring Joker?"

The commander crossed her arms and adopted a hip-out stance. Liara recognized that stance. Although it made it seem like the commander was at her ease, she was also ready to fight in a heartbeat. There was no expression in Shepard's eyes as she studied Liara quietly.

Shepard shrugged nonchalantly. "I wanted to lure the human slave traffickers into a false sense of security. We were easy pickings if one member in our small party did not seem like he would be able to put up a fight."

"And is that okay with you, Joker?"

Jeff Moreau shrugged uneasily. His mother always told him not to get in the middle of a lovers' quarrel. You lived a longer life that way.

"The commander knows what I can do. So, if she wants me to act as a crippled decoy, I act as a crippled decoy," he answered.

Kaidan decided to chime in. As casually as he could, he moved himself to stand between Shepard and Liara. Nothing to see here, just stretching his legs. "It was for the good of the mission, T'soni," he interjected before the asari could speak again.

Liara absorbed that for a moment. "For the good of the mission," she repeated softly. "It's always about the mission with Shepard, isn't it, Kaidan?"

Shepard had been listening to the conversation and decided to step in before someone said something they regretted.

"Hey, I know you're mad about the deception. But stay mad at me. Leave my crew out of this," Shepard said. Unconsciously, she had switched to her commander's voice. It was salt on Liara's feeling of betrayal.

The asari stared at Shepard. A rational voice inside her head told her that Shepard had not maliciously deceived her. Yet, a voice inside her heart whispered if Shepard could so easily use her as a pawn in her schemes, what was real between them?

"And what about me, Shepard?" Liara asked quietly. "Why did you really bring me here?"

Kaidan and Joker exchanged glances and seemed to share a wish to burrow within the sands. If the commander was not careful in her answer, her small lovers' spat was going to escalate into a full-blown skirmish. The two men wordlessly agreed that they had no wish to end up as casualties.

Shepard, it seemed, knew no fear. "It was a good cover story."

Liara could only look at her lover, appalled. Words failed her.

"Screw you," the asari hissed and stalked off.

There was a shout that came behind her but Liara ignored it. She thought it might have been Kaidan that had called out. As the camp disappeared over the horizon, Liara had thought that Shepard might have tried to follow her, stop her but the human did not. Is this what I really mean to you, Shepard?

Finally, the asari got tired of walking. Panting, Liara looked up at the night sky. Stars glimmered weakly in a sea of blackness. She closed her eyes, dredging cold air deeply into her lungs. Slowly, her mind cleared but the anger that burnt in her heart had become an inferno.

Liara sent wave after wave of her biotic power into the sand dunes. Sand exploded in a snaking trail. Her mind was full of doubt. Had she misinterpreted the human's intentions? Was that night the first time they Joined meaningless?

She sensed a presence, whirled and stopped when she saw Shepard standing there.

The commander took a quick step back, slipping into a defensive stance. She seemed to realize how incongruous she looked and relaxed her stance, scrubbing a hand through her short hair in embarrassment. "Sorry. Damn reflexes," she muttered. "Kaidan and Joker are gone, escorting the prisoners and dead bodies back to the city."

As angry as Liara was at the human, the sight of Shepard still lightened her heart. The night seemed suddenly less cold. She remembered what her mother had told her about the importance of maintaining one's decorum when in authority. She had disrespected Shepard in front of her people.

"I'm sorry," she muttered ruefully. "I shouldn't have yelled at you in front of your crew. It was…childish of me."

Shepard accepted Liara's apology with a nod. "Well, yeah, that wasn't a smart thing to do," she said. Then she blinked as if realizing what she had just said. "What am I saying? No, I'm the one who should be apologizing," the commander added hastily. "I misled you into thinking that we were here on a romantic date."

Liara felt her lips twist with scorn. "That's okay. I'm just glad that I could help out in your mission."

Shepard sighed. She seemed to be searching for a reply. Finally, she stepped closer, close enough to embrace. "Liara… I… I did not only want you along for a cover story. I wanted you to be here with me." The commander seemed to take a deep breath. "I needed you to be here with me."

It was not Shepard's words that cooled the anger in Liara. It was the naked loneliness and pain in those violet-blue eyes. "Why did you lie to me?" she asked softly, averting her gaze to the sand. She could not look any longer into those eyes anymore.

A callused finger curled around under her chin and raised her face gently upwards. "It's not that I don't trust you, Liara. It's just that you have such a damn expressive face. You would have given away our intentions," Shepard replied.

The embers of anger flared up. "Goddess…are you calling me liability?" she seethed. How could that woman turn honesty into a backhanded insult?

"Let's not fight," Shepard said, although there was more than a trace of irritation in her voice.

Liara wanted to lash out with a singularity but restrained herself. "Why not?" Anger had her by the throat. It choked her.

Shepard looked at her for a long moment. She seemed almost aggrieved. Then she embraced Liara gently. Shepard lowered her head and whispered. The asari could not believe what she had heard.

"Could you say that again?" she asked in asari.

She felt the commander smile against her neck. Very softly and surely, the commander repeated the phrase again. Liara closed her eyes and returned the embrace. She had not been imagining it. Shepard had been speaking asari. Liara broke the embrace and kissed Shepard softly. A few tears streaked down from her eyes as Shepard took Liara in her arms and returned the kiss.

* * *

Liara woke up to Shepard's voice urgently calling her name. She sat up in the rumpled sheets, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Come," Shepard said in asari. She beckoned from the tent opening. There was a fire in her eyes that was contagious. "Hurry," she added before disappearing.

The asari dressed as fast as she could and emerged from the tent to find dawn just breaking. Reds, golds, slivers of white and blue mottled the sky. It was a beautiful sunrise. Liara could feel a blissful tranquility settle over her at the sight.

"It's lovely," she whispered.

Shepard grinned. "I reckoned that you would like it." She seemed immensely pleased with herself. It showed in her eyes and smile.

The commander was kneeling by a small campfire, pouring a steaming drink into two mugs. She replaced the kettle on the tripod over the fire and carried from the mugs over. Liara accepted hers with a smile of thanks. The aroma wafting up from the drink was rich and intoxicating. She took a cautious sip and recognized what it was. It was a drink called hot chocolate. A human delicacy.

Shepard too took a drink from her own mug and heaved a sigh of contentment. A smidgen of chocolate formed a tear at the corner of her mouth. Liara moved without thinking. She wiped the smudge of chocolate from Shepard's lips with the pad of her thumb and she licked it.

Liara became self conscious when she realized Shepard was staring at her. "What are you thinking about, Shepard?" she asked playfully.

The woman simply smiled and gave a casual shrug. She turned to watch the sky lighten. "I wish…" Shepard began, unconsciously switching back to English. She smiled again, letting her words trail off wistfully. "I was thinking it would be nice if we could stay like this for a little longer."

She turned to look back at Liara. Her expression softened. "'It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important'," she said softly.

It was poignant and poetic. The way Shepard had said it made it seem like a quotation. It was not in the commander's nature to express herself so eloquently that way. Liara sipped her hot chocolate again. "Who said that?"

The commander gazed for a moment at her drink cradled in her hands. She then raised the mug as if in toast. "Antoine de Saint-Exupery, an Earth pilot," she said. She took a drink then added, "He wrote a book a long time ago."

Before Liara could reply, Shepard's com link beeped. Shepard gave Liara an apologetic look before answering the transmission.

"Yes, Joker?"

The pilot sounded overly cheerful. "Morning, Commander. Hope I'm not interrupting anything…." Despite his words, Joker's tone suggested that he would be delighted if he had interrupted them.

Liara chuckled at Shepard's exasperated expression. "Get on with it, Moreau," she said firmly. Her tone suggested that she was in the mood to shoot kneecaps.

Joker paused as if hearing the threat in her voice. "Our marching orders just came in. They want us to rout the geth."

With a smile of relief, Shepard acknowledged the order and instructed Joker to recall any of the crew that was onshore leave.

Liara in the meanwhile sighed regretfully. She handed the commander her mug which Shepard upended over the fire. The fire hissed out. Shepard placed their mugs on the ground and Liara moved to help her break up the camp. However, as the asari walked by the human, Shepard reached out and grabbed her in a tight embrace.

"Shepard!"

Shepard said nothing. Instead she kissed her softly. "We should really get going," Liara said, flustered as the kiss ended. She smiled at a surfaced memory. "Duty calls."

The commander stroked her cheek gently. "Not right now," she murmured as she kissed her softly again. Liara's reservations melted away in its heat. "Our transport was experiencing mechanical difficulties."

"Yes…ah…Sand got into something. Took awhile before we could fix it," Liara contributed to their alibi.

The smile that curved Shepard's lips was roguish. Her eyes shone with mischief, tenderness and love. Liara let herself be led back to the tent where the sleeping bags were soft and warm. She had to treasure these small moments of solace. Who knows when they could be alone together like this again? After all, the fight against the Reapers had only just begun.


End file.
